Doughnuts And Marshmallows: What Your Ability To Resist Sweets Says About Your Future

I love doughnuts. The best are the regular glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts, still warm from the oven. I live less than a mile from a Krispy Kreme location that turns on a neon “Hot” sign when new doughnuts are ready. I have eaten ten Krispy Kreme doughnuts before in one sitting. Post donut-gorging shame usually takes between a few minutes to two hours to set in, but it always comes. If 2pm Aaron could confront 10am Krispy Kreme-eating Aaron, it would be a violent confrontation.

Why does present day Aaron insist on screwing over future Aaron? Friday night tequila-drinking Aaron is totally inconsiderate of Saturday morning Aaron. Shopping spree Aaron does not have credit card bill paying Aaron’s best interests at heart. It’s crazy – we are the same person, but I consistently take actions that hurt my future self. It’s living for the moment gone wrong. I skip workouts, spend money instead of save it, eat food that makes my health worse, and procrastinate. My god, the procrastination. Any of this sound familiar?

What I’ve realized is that to be happy over the long run, I have to start giving future Aaron a vote in present Aaron’s decisions. Eating ten Krispy Kreme doughnuts tends to make me very happy in the present, but less happy in two hours. Over years, taking only the present me into account will make the future me fat and sugar-addicted. But if I consider both present and future consequences, I’ll turn down Krispy Kreme doughnuts more often than I eat them, and I’ll be in better health.

Decades ago, an experiment was performed at Stanford University that illustrated the importance of keeping the future self in mind. Preschoolers were given a marshmallow and told that if they could keep from eating it for 15 minutes, they would get a second marshmallow. In effect, if the present kid can control herself from eating the marshmallow, the future kid benefits (in her mind, not health-wise, of course). One-third of the children were able to last the 15 minutes and earn their second marshmallow. In follow up studies done years later, the kids who showed self-control were described as “more competent” by their parents, and had higher SAT scores. Forget for a moment what eating a bunch of marshmallows does to the kids’ bodies – the point of this test was to show that people who have the ability to delay gratification end up being more competent generally in life. This same test has been performed in various ways since the marshmallow experiment, and the conclusion is always the same: people who make choices with their future selves in mind have more successful lives.

Life is one marshmallow experiment after another. You are constantly presented with situations that have first, second, and third order consequences. How you perform depends on which consequences you value.

Successful people make their decisions based on a combination of first, second, and third order consequences. Exercising today has the first order consequence of the pain that comes with exercise, which by itself is undesirable. The second order consequence of exercise is that you will feel pretty good later that day. Third order consequences include a better looking body, more confidence and a longer, more healthful life. When you take first, second and third order consequences into account, you’ll probably decide that the pain you feel now is outweighed by the benefits that come later.

Unsuccessful people act on first order consequences only, with disastrous results. They eat unhealthy food because it tastes good now, regardless of what it will do to their body later. They don’t study in school because their present self would rather do something else. They over-indulge in drugs and alcohol because they feel good today. They don’t save money because it’s more fun to spend today. By the time they realize how much they hate their present life, it’s too late. Their past selves have screwed them over.

Are you satisfied with your life right now? If not, your past self may be to blame. It’s too late to change the decisions you made yesterday, but recognize that how you feel tomorrow will largely depend on the decisions you make today. Future you will be present you very soon. If you make your decisions with future you in mind, you’re much more likely to be happy when tomorrow becomes today. Got it?

Put more simply: next time you are making a decision, however small, try to notice whether you’re taking into account only the first order consequences, or if you’re considering all the consequences down the line. Ask yourself things like “Will my future self be happy that I went on this run after it is over?” “Will my future self be glad if I just get this project done rather than procrastinate another hour?” “Will my future self regret stopping at Krispy Kreme just because the hot sign is on?”

Delaying gratification may feel like punishment to the present you, but it’s a gain to the future you. Present you is just this moment, future you is forever. I’m not suggesting that you give up your present happiness, just that you balance it with your happiness tomorrow and the day after. Eat one doughnut and turn down the second. Trust me: you’ll thank yourself for it later.