Dear 17 Year Old Me,

What’s up DJ? This is me (the 33 year old version of David Mack) writing a letter to you (the 17 year old version of David Mack). It just turned 2012 for me; so it just turned 1996 for you. You’re about to start your last semester of high school and you’re in a very awkward place. You are anxious about applying to college, confused about your high school sweetheart, concerned about leaving your family, and struggling for direction. So, I’ve decided to write my past so that I can right my future. Statistics say that our life is halfway over. Therefore, you need to change certain aspects of your personality, love life, family, and career in order to become more successful. We have work to do.

Love the Whole World Instead of Your World. (Self Discovery)

College will teach you a lot about other people, but more about yourself. You’ve only been exposed to one environment for your whole life. Therefore, don’t bring your own history, judgments, or pre-conceived notions to school. Learn, but don’t judge. Evaluate, but don’t condemn. Trust, but always verify. Don’t say “Merry Christmas” to all of your friends before Winter break. Everyone is not a Christian or believes in religious customs. Don’t grimace when someone plays foreign music from another dorm room. The world is bigger than what you hear on the radio. You’ll also learn that dark skin girls are just as pretty as light skin girls, rich people can be really cool, and all that glitters isn’t black and gold. In other words; 1.) All people are beautiful 2.) Money isn’t the root of all evil 3.) Make friends with people because you genuinely like them- and not because you’re in the same fraternity or group. Don’t assign a race, color, or label to anything. Learning to love the WHOLE world instead of YOUR world will make you a better person.

Talk Less to Communicate More (Technology)

It feels natural for you to chit-chat with family and friends for 3 to 5 hours. You come from a huge family with elderly people that love to talk. The invention of the mobile phone will cause you great problems. This phone allows you to call anybody- from anywhere- at any time!! This is worlds away from your current corded phone (complete with no caller ID and no call-waiting). A mobile phone with countless phone numbers sounds like heaven, but it can become your hell. First, you’ll notice that the quality of your conversations will decline as you have exposure to more people. People are really busy in the new millennium and you can’t monopolize their time with your erratic, if sometimes introspective and cerebral, points of view. Secondly, you’ll see that the goal of people’s conversations will change. People care more about solving problems than understanding them. You’re going to get frustrated and claim that you hate cell phones, but this isn’t the case. The currency of a rich conversation is more valuable than the number of people in your phone. Just learn to say something meaningful in three minutes instead of taking three hours. Size doesn’t matter (…when speaking about phone conversations).

Today’s Failures = Tomorrow’s Success (Relationships)

You are going to meet some beautiful young ladies who will grow and mature into incredible women. You will even be lucky enough to date a few. Don’t get excited though! You’re going to mess this ALL up. You’re single at 33 and you deserve every solitary second of it. The problem is that you communicate with your mouth rather than your heart. It scares you to say what you truly feel. Therefore, you use words as bargaining chips or middle-men to get what you want. You are quick to say what sounds right or appropriate rather than what comes from your heart. You have problems telling people (especially your girlfriend) how much you “love” her. You will eventually feel comfortable using the “L” word, but then you’ll fail to show how much you “need” her. You analyze too much at the birth of a relationship and then try to recover with sweet words and witty remarks before it dies. Please stop this! Women’s hearts are not iPhones. You can’t just push a few buttons and get exactly what you want. If you love someone then just tell them. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. You do have a big heart, but you hurt people when you don’t open up. Love is just like Sports, DJ! No pain…No gain. You’ve put other people through pain, so it’s time to go through yours. The current failures of your dating life will enable the future success of your married life.

Najah Means Success (Family)

Daniel, your brother, is going to have a beautiful baby girl named Najah. You are going to be scared at first, but you will love your niece beyond belief. The most important thing that you can do for Najah is to spend TIME with her. That’s it! Kids can tell when you buy them something nice and then you leave to watch the Bears game. Children feel it when you interrupt playing with them to answer every phone call or text message. Little boys and girls who’ve been ignored eventually become men and women who crave the attention they never received. Your niece is not only teaching you about being a good Uncle; she’s teaching you about being a better person. Time is the universal ingredient for making anything flourish. My other piece of advice is to let Najah be herself. Many male figures enforce their opinion of how a nice, perfect, or admirable woman should act. This is chauvinist and wrong. If Najah wants to wrestle and play tackle football; then let her. If Najah wants to paint her room pink and dress up for teatime; then let her. Don’t let Najah feel she has to change for a man’s approval. And don’t YOU assume that you have the power to change a woman…or little girl. The word “Najah” means success; so you should strive to be a successful uncle.

Career

You only know how to follow your heart. Neither one of us can change this.

Sincerely,

You