New Year’s Resolutions suck. The whole act of setting them has become one big collective joke. They are broken so quickly and consistently that we make them without any expectation whatsoever that we’ll still be doing them come February. I spoke with a co-worker yesterday who told me his New Year’s Resolution was to run more, but he probably wouldn’t because “you know how New Year’s Resolutions go.” Literally told me his resolution and that he also wouldn’t keep it in once sentence. The mindset with which people approach their New Year’s Resolutions is all wrong. This is why you should:
1) Make a resolution to NEVER repeat a resolution.
Is the resolution you’re thinking about making one that you’ve made at least one previous year? If so, stop right there. Make this your goal instead: you will never need to set the same resolution again.
People who know me well know that I have lost and gained the same 15-20 pounds at least 10 times over the course of my adult life. Many of these times have started with diets that began as New Year’s resolutions. I’ve gotten so good at losing weight that I knew I could successfully do it every January, but it doesn’t make it any less depressing the following January when I have to go back and set the same exact resolution that I “successfully” kept the year before. All it proved was that I was even better at gaining weight than losing it.
So 2011 was different – I had some pounds to lose, but this time the goal was simply not to have to make a resolution to lose weight when January 1, 2012 came around. How did I do it this time? I set markers throughout the year when I would do certain things that required me to be in shape: a 5K in May, a 10K in July, a Tough Mudder in October. I planned times throughout the year when I would have an incentive – besides just a distant resolution – to be in shape. I happen to like those challenges, but it doesn’t have to be a race. You could plan a shopping spree where you save up to buy clothes in the next size down (and throw away the larger clothes) or a beach trip when you’ll get to wear a certain swimsuit. Once you’ve stayed in shape for the full year, you’re much more likely to continue it when next January arrives. This is also related to the 2nd alternative to setting a new year’s resolution…
2) Create a habit instead of a resolution
Instead of making another resolution, why not create a new habit? What’s the difference? I’ll explain using the word “diet.” There’s two ways to use the word. You can go on a diet and lose weight. The only problem is that at some point you are no longer on the diet, and the weight will usually come back. People who do something extreme to get to a certain weight (usually quickly – even if it took 10 years to put the weight on, people want to lose it in a month) and then think that once they get there, they can stop the diet and just “maintain” their new weight. Of course, this never works (Yes, I said never). The people who maintain a healthy weight are those who adopt a diet. They don’t go on a diet, they have a diet. They have a way they normally eat, and the indulgences are what they allow themselves to have as part of that diet. These people find foods that are both healthy AND that they like to eat on a regular basis. They find exercise that gets their heart rate going, AND that they enjoy doing to stay active. They’ve created good habits, rather than relying on sheer willpower to help them keep a resolution.
The way to create a habit is pretty much the opposite of a resolution.
The Resolution (nod if it sounds familiar):
January 1: throw out all unhealthy food in the fridge, buy tons of vegetables, fruits, cottage cheese and tofu. Buy new running shoes, running outfit, wristwatch, etc. Buy new weights for the basement, or a treadmill, or a gym membership.
January 2: show up with your all-new outfits and gear to a Crossfit class, workout until you throw up.
January 3-6: too sore to work out, but drink a half-gallon shake of seaweed, kelp and ground flaxseed.
January 7: Order two pizzas from dominos, down both of them with a six-pack of Yuengling.
The Habit:
January 1: Buy nothing. Walk 5 minutes, then go back and sit on your couch.
January 2-5: Walk 5-10 minutes each day.
January 6-14: run/walk 10 minutes.
January 15-31: run/walk 15-30 minutes per day.
Within a month, you have a habit of daily exercise.
The bigger the rush you are in to fix everything, the less chance there is you’ll stick with it. The faster you start, the faster you peter out. Habits form slowly, like water creating grooves down a mountainside. Instead of making a quick change that will be gone by March, why not make this the year you do something that lasts?
3) Get rid of one person in your life
Chances are you probably already know who this person is without reading further into this paragraph. You know at least one person who is weighing you down. This person only takes, never contributes to your life. You know you’d be happier, less stressed and less negative if you could just spend less time around this person – it’s time to cut them off.
The maxim that you are a combination of the five people closest to you is true, but it’s an oversimplification. You’re a combination of all of the people you surround yourself with. And some people have more of an effect on your life than others. A particularly positive influence can be life-changing, but so can a really bad influence. Someone in your life is on the bottom rung – the most destructive force in your life. Cut that person off at all costs – they are literally shortening your life, and making what time you have left on this earth that much more miserable. Resist the urge to hold on to a friend simply because you’ve known them for a long time. You’re not being disloyal by removing a negative person from your life. You’ll be a happier individual, and a better influence on the remaining people in your life – that is true loyalty.
4) Pick one thing to stop doing
Most New Year’s resolutions are goals to do something additional to what people are already doing – start exercising, start a diet, learn a new language/sport/dance, start dating more. In today’s society, however, it’s much more likely that you’re overextended than it is you have too much free time. Why not decide to do less this year? Why not quit something for the New Year?
Several months ago I started keeping track of my time and realized I wanted to spend less of my free time flipping channels. This freed up time for other things without me even trying. I recently wrote about how I quit the news, the stock market, and politics. Removing those distractions made me more productive during my work day, which meant I spent fewer hours in the office. In the past, my New Year’s resolutions have been to force myself to do more things – which usually meant running around like a madman until I gave up, and then feeling guilty about what I wasn’t able to accomplish. Now I’m focusing on keeping certain things out of my daily routine – stuff like reading “news” on CNN, aimlessly flipping channels (as opposed to turning on the TV for the one show I really want to watch and then turning it off), or reading political sites that just support what I already believe/know. I didn’t even plan on using that free time for anything else – it was just an experiment. What I found, however, is that I ended up using that free time to do the things I had to guilt myself into doing before – finishing the books I bought, writing, working out, etc. It turns out I had plenty of time and energy for those things, but I had to clear out other wastes of time first.
5) Wait until February
Simply the act of setting a big goal during the first week of January makes it less likely that you’ll keep it. You’re setting it solely because it’s tradition, not because it’s something you actually want to do. No one ever asks you in March how your New Year’s resolution is going – it’s something to talk about for a week or two, max.
Start your goal on February 1st. If you’re setting a New Year’s resolution, it just gets bunched in with all the other BS people tell each other in January. If you make a February 1st resolution and tell a few people though, folks will actually notice. You’ll be the only one still talking about resolutions.
Also, half of the reason people don’t stick with resolutions is they make very poorly thought out goals. “Lose weight” or “fall in love” are popular ones. How much weight? How do you know when you’ve successfully fallen in love? Is your goal something that’s even under your control or does it depend on getting lucky? Is it a SMART goal ? We make monthly goals in our mastermind group. One thing we noticed was that if someone slacked and came up with their goal during the same meeting that they announced it, they were unlikely to hit it, or it would just be a meaningless goal. The process of setting a realistic, measurable goal that depends only on you is as important as the execution. Now our group comes up with goals a month in advance. You can tweak the goal during the month if you like, but it at least forces you to think about the goal way ahead of time. Start thinking now about something you want to accomplish this year, but don’t let yourself start until February – spend January figuring out the details.
The Mastermind Project 