Warren Buffett Can Suck It

Warren Buffet is the 2nd richest man in the world. For many, his views and opinions and  farts are followed with the same reverence reserved for holy men like the Dali Llama. His nickname is even the sage of Omaha. But is Warren a sage?

There was a time when I was a disciple of the church of Buffet. During my Sophomore year in college, racing towards an inevitable career in fiance, I breathed Warren. I read Munger. I aped Berkshire Hathaway’s annual report. I was a Stan*.

I wanted to be the Black Warren Buffet. I was going to buy furniture stores from little old ladies with a smile and pennies on the dollar. I was going to invest in McDonald and Coca-Cola and Insurance companies; the American dream would be mine. I absorbed every bit of the Warren mystique, and in October of that year, I got my chance to finally meet the man in person.

Warren Buffet was coming to campus.

I told everyone. I joined the planning committee. I convinced the Black Student Alliance to cosponsor the event so I could guarantee my self a good seat. My crew (cult) of Buffet followers were the first in line and sat in the front row. We were ready to receive the sage.

During the speech I gorged on Mr. Buffets words. I can still remember the underpinnings of his speech a decade later which was simple, “All business deals are based on trust. Guard your integrity, Don’t lose money, and you’ll be fine.”

When the speech was over Warren asked the audience if they had any questions. My hand shot up before he finished the word question.

“Yes, you in the front, what’s your  question?” asked Warren.

“If you were me, and you saved $7000 working summers and doing odd jobs (i had) what would you invest in? What would you do?”

Warren looked me up and down. Before I get to his reply you should know this, I’m a 6’6″ Black Man. And now the punch line…

Warren snickers, “Well son, If I were you I’d play basketball,” I winced. “or football.” I died. a. little.

That was it?
That was the great advice from my hero?
Learn to shoot a jump shot?
Catch a football?
Really?

That was the last time I ever worshipped a false idol, and the first time I realized that my hero’s were human beings too.  Warren was just another old man who saw a young black boy as a stereotype and not a numbers nerd who just wanted to make it big like he did. It’s tough to see other people as people and not as your assumptions about them. So I ask, all ten readers (I kid) of this blog to drop the hero worship. Stop trying to be like Warren, or Mark, or Bill, or Barack, and just be your damn self. And when you do make it, and a little naive kids asks you a question, remember that  he sees you for more than who you are.