mnmlist: live more, need less

Leo Babauta writes a blog called Zen Habits and also a blog called mnmlist.  Today I’m sharing a link from the latter.  Sometime soon on this blog we will address the philosophy of minimalism, and how we could all stand to integrate at least some of its principles in our lives.  For now, enjoy this piece on focusing on living your life, rather than accumulating stuff.  They’re not the same thing.

A Random World

Since when did the word “random” become an accepted way to define people who we are unfamiliar with or don’t know?  We’ve all been guilty of this.  You go somewhere and instinctively scour the room for people that you know or at least recognize.  If a certain number of strangers are in attendance then you will utter the following phrase…“there are a lot of random people in here.”

Why are these people random?  It is because YOU don’t know them.  Think about it. Random is aptly defined as a person, place, or thing that lacks any definite plan, order, or purpose.  We have states of randomness in science and mathematics where certain events can’t be defined or predicted.  There is also a philosophical concept of randomness that describes something which that lacks order, predictability, or even function.

Unfortunately, something doesn’t add up.  That “random” girl at the bar flirting with your boyfriend is actually not random at all.  Her plan is to talk to your boyfriend.  Her purpose is to get your boyfriend’s attention so that he might like her instead of you.  Her overall function or order is to increase her chances of mating by talking to as many attractive males as possible.  What about the “random” people who are always at the club.  Their plan is to enjoy music, conversation, and drinks in a social setting.  Their reason or purpose might be to simply have a good time.  Are these people random?

Now don’t get my argument confused with traditionally correct acts of randomness.  You can randomly find a 20 dollar bill on your way to work.  You can randomly bump into your best friend from pre-school as you head to the gym.  These are certain occurrences that can truly be classified as random.  However, please notice that finding a 20 dollar bill is a random situation.  Or, bumping into an old friend can be a random occurrence.  A situation or occurrence can be random, but are people truly random?  A situation or occurrence can happen without purpose, function, or reason.  But, can an actual person be random?  If so, then who has the power or ability to judge if another person lacks a plan, purpose, or order?

I have a huge problem with society’s willingness to easily label strangers as “random.”  I honestly feel that when we call someone random we actually mean that this person has no definite plan, order, or purpose…that is beneficial to us.  I would even argue that today’s habit of calling people random is actually a subconscious judgement about someone else’s lack of worth, meaning, and even social position.  Calling someone “random” is actually a passive aggressive way to say “I don’t know you. Therefore, you aren’t important.”  The flip side is that we actually allow ourselves to be “random” if we automatically succumb to relative and subjective definitions of whom or what is important. If someone is random to you, then you are random to someone else.

Furthermore, we limit our ability to meet new people, network, and even make new friends.  That “random” guy at the party might be a young entrepreneur that could give you some good tips on how to start a small business.  That “random” girl at the party could be rebounding from a bad relationship and could actually offer some priceless insight on dating and how to find a nice guy.  The “random” geek standing by himself at the party might create a digital social network and become the youngest billionaire in the world.

Ultimately, there is nothing random about success.  It takes hard work, dedication, and diligence to become successful at anything.  Therefore, there is nothing successful about “randomness.”  Every person, place, or thing has some purpose or reason for being here.  Most successful people will notice the worth or value in something while others call it useless or random.  Successful people also understand that great opportunities can result from meeting the most “random” person.  So I encourage you to get out there.  Meet new people and start new conversations.  Forget old enemies and make new friends.  This is not a random world.  Or like one of my favorite quotes simply states, “There is no such thing as a stranger, just people that we haven’t met.”

Scott H Young: Don’t Know What You Want?

Scott Young is an extremely thoughtful blogger I’ve been following for a while, and he doesn’t disappoint with this thought-provoking piece on getting what you want from life. 

Scott argues that it’s not as simple as just figuring out what you want and then going after it.  Many people don’t know what they want, and for those that do, many of them are wrong (about what they’ll eventually want).  He offers an alternative to long-term goal setting for those not 100% sure what they want: invest in improving your skills in areas that will help you regardless of the direction you end up taking.  Makes a lot of sense to me.  Definitely worth reading the entire thing.

You Can’t Get Where You’re Going If You Don’t Know Where You Are

In Tuesday’s post, I talked about accepting the blame for why your life is the way it is as a first step towards changing things for the better. I may have skipped a step.

Before you can accept responsibility for the current direction of your life, you probably need to take a look and accurately assess where you are in life. If you’re lying to yourself about who you are, you have virtually no chance of making huge positive changes. You have no more chance than if you were trying to give directions on a map without knowing the starting point.

What would you change about your actions if you could? If you knew without a doubt that you could stick to it, what new behavior would you adopt? What could you start or stop doing tomorrow that would make your life unquestionably better by this time next year?

If you know the answers to these questions immediately, you may have a decent sense of where you are. If you are struggling to find anything you would change, it’s more likely that you are not admitting something to yourself rather than you have nothing to change.

If you are particularly brave, ask someone close to you whom you trust to tell you the truth and share one habit they would give you for your birthday if they could. Solicit multiple suggestions.

Then:

1) Write down all the things you could change to make your life better.

2) Pick one.

3) Take the smallest possible step towards that change. Today.

Pace Yourself

So much easier said than done.

Life is short.  We’ve all heard the catch phrase a million times over the course of our lives.  The key is to understand how to apply it specifically to our individual agendas in order to keep us on the path of successfully achieving our goals.

Consider thinking of your pace in a different manner, such as truly comparing work ethics with physical mobility.  You can take the approach of operating at a slow and meticulous pace, such as walking.  Over time the desired progress will be attained, but when you encounter an obstacle or distraction things will come to a sudden halt.  Dead stops require a significant amount of effort to return to the previous pace.  Walk and then suddenly stop.  Life continues while you remain still.  One of the first things I was coached to as a sales professional was to limit the number of stops & starts over the course of your day as it will truly minimize your ability to be productive.

Now think about taking a jog or vigorous run and coming to a complete halt.  Amazingly, whether you stopped to address an obstacle or simply got distracted, momentum carried you onward toward the end goal you set.  Momentum is the key to driving your personal success.  Once you become invested in whatever you are working on it becomes harder to stop than it does to continue moving forward.

The thought here is not to become overzealous in your approach to goals.  Instead take the time to stretch yourself beyond whatever pace feels comfortable.  Often times we are the greatest impediment to accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves.  Push Yourself.  Just like an athlete goes through rigorous periods of training to increase stamina and strength you must continue to grow and develop your character and habits with the same level of intensity.

Don’t look for a shortcut to success because odds-are one of the numerous people out there more talented or more intelligent than you and I would have already found it. It’s absolutely true when “they” say “Nothing worthwhile comes easy.”